The peacock cloth.

I'm on the mattress.
I look out to see Anna.
She's not in the room.
I look again.
I understand she's in the bathroom.
She's struggling.

I feel I have to get up and gather myself to sit at the circle.
I don't really want to.
The round cloth is wrinkled.
I try to stretch it.
"My mom would do that" I say.
This reminds me of Anna's technique for handling her pattern and healing.
It doesn't work.
It keeps wrinkling.
I get upset and demand her to join me at the circle.
She doesn't show up.
I decide the cloth has the right to be wrinkled.
I play with the cloth.
I feel the light of the candles are watching me.
Judging me.
I get up and move away from the circle to sit against the wall.