This time his lovely wife is present to help us.
We sit around a round table cloth with a peacock's tail pattern print.
The participants:
First-timer E-J, struggling with a violent childhood and devastating diseases running in his family.
First-time sisters T and N from Ireland, struggling with T's spine problems.
My Anna
and yours truly.
We state our intend out loud.
"Insight, in and out." I say.
We take our shot.
E-J's trip kicks in in about 3 minutes.
Hard.
I see him throw up and even congratulate him.
I am still clear headed.
10 minutes in, my personal pattern shows up.
A dark spinning tunnel with a violet purple pink black whirl.
I see the story lines of possibilities in this existence converging to one Source in the form of a Triangle in the sky; It doesn't matter what story you represent. You can't escape this 'reality'.
This makes me throw up.
I'm satisfied and even proud because I am aware I'm moving in the right direction.
I start making a growling sound.
Coming from my belly.
It soothes me.
I realize my mattress is like a cage, protecting myself and the rest of the participants.
As I am kneeled at the edge of the mattress, facing the wall, having my back to the center, I feel myself connecting to T. intuitively I start marking my territory by running my hands around the edges of my mattress. I push away anything that is crossing the line: pillows, blankets, Anna's hand...
Nothing is allowed in!
I run my hands towards my feet behind me I feel my spine been stretched. Immediately all of my painful points shoot up. Cramps in the left foot, pain in the lower back, pain in my right shoulder.
I stop for a moment, regroup and continue 'closing' my cage.
I smack my face on the mattress, exhausted.
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