Microdosing MAOI: day 5

I woke up yesterday hearing Anna falling down the stairs. 
Again...
The fear and panic got me so angry it took me the whole day to calm down.
Around 9pm I fell asleep but I woke up at 11pm and took a shot MAOI.
Immediately I got confronted with the pain and sorrow.
I was squeezing every tear out of my body.
No dreams.
No visuals.
Just the feeling of relief...