Divide, to Unite.

Tar black fixed eyes in the mirror.

My eyes are fixed, closed.
Over generations.
Over clans and tribes worldwide.
Even an Alien representative has them sealed with black tar.
The baby is unable to open them and focus on "reality".

I feel it's my duty to help him.
I am convinced I can do it.
Maybe if I show him how to do it, he will be able...

As I try to open them, I feel a pulling force at the bottom of my spine.
I insist and pull that energy higher, to my 2nd chakra. Now my eyelids start opening.
This is exhausting and I am only on step 2.
I go through the blurry fazes of 3, 4 and 5...
Still no focus.
I'm getting desperate.
Tired.
I gather my courage and pull the energy over my head.
I'm screaming at this point.
The energy is pushed above my head but I can't lift it any higher and it's about to collapse.

Then, I submit to the weight of this work.
My eyes shut so fast and hard, pure darkness...

Sorry kido, maybe next time. <3



















This insight, fills my belly with insecurity...

Heaven lays at the feet of your Mother.

My connection to my mother is a very painful one.
I needed the help of SSH to get there last night.

Pain
Shame
Sorrow

It all piled up.
It twisted and turned my lower body till my joints started cracking.

Acceptance
Release
Love

(This one is for Mo. )

Impotence, that's why!

I get to a point where I start questioning why I'm getting the information and knowledge that men in their 60ies, 70ies and beyond possess and preach.

Why is it that the pressure in my hip is pointing towards my sexual center?
Could it be that the socially imposed 'potty training' forces boys to block their First chakra?
Causing the Second chakra to be forced to deal with whatever energy overflows.
Resulting in the well known morning erections with painful full blathers?
So by daily forcing the urine thru the closed off ureter, damaging the 2nd chakra?
Could this result, by the age of 50 to erectile disfunction?

Imagine that elderly men, unconsciously and way too late, have found the answer to this issue.
They get up at night to urinate, several times.

Mother Ayahuasca will:

Let me wait.
Turn and toil me.
Make me feel unwanted.
Convince me to shift shapes.
From lizard to a cat and even to a carnivorous plant...

Have me beggggg to let me in.

Until

I realize.
She'll never let me in.
I'm not worthy...
Unless I show my true Self.


Tada!! I'm in! :D :D :D

Take a deep look...

...into the mirror.

I've done this before but this time...

Two eyes merge into one.
Deep darkness colors the iris.
A wormhole with a stairway to the light appears.
Follow the light.
Follow
Follow...

Wait, what??
Where do you think you'll arrive?
You're already there.

Testimonial Ayahuasca Ceremoniy with Bas and Mo.

In short: I loved trusting my soul and the soul of my Love to these guys.
If you wanna know why, read on. ;)

Bas asked me to write a testimonial on my experience at his place.
How can I refuse, but you'll have to forgive me if this sounds a bit like "Komen Eten" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So, I never met or heard of Bas before.
Just googled and booked a trip for me and Anna.
Turns out, we were the only participants. A true blessing!

We drove all the way to Harlem Amsterdam expecting a city-like environment so imagine our surprise when we found ourselves cruising through open fields of grass, along streams of quite water surrounding farms. A peaceful scenery felt very promising.
Now, imagine our slight disappointment when we approached the ceremony place midst of an industrial complex!
We were nice on time so the door was open and we just walked inside only to find...two of the most warm welcoming men I've ever encountered.
Suddenly the outside world didn't matter anymore.

Bas, our ceremony Master, introduced himself briefly and introduced us to our modest and amazing Sitter, Mo.
Mo helped us unload the car.
The cozy decorated place had just enough space to comfortably accommodate 4 mattresses, a piano, a guitar, a table and a separate room for privacy to change into something comfortable.
The tea flooded abundant.
The fruit salad was provided with much care.
The Ayahuasca was prepared and served with the utter most Love and Respect for the plants and the participants. I appreciated the fact that She was served at room temperature. This made the acceptance into my system so easy.

Everything was cleansed in a ceremonial way.
Bas played and sang his own compositions. I declare them the Icaros of Europe.
Ofcourse, during the whole evening a selectively composed playlist was playing with a certain theme. Won't tell you what it is. Go listen for yourself.
There were no restrictions for me and Anna and the men even left the room a couple of times just to give us some privacy. (Thank you guys)

Bas and Mo are so well synchronized, it was a blessing having them take care of me.
Allowing me to go deep into my inner work while providing protection and guidance, especially during those trips to the -very clean- bathroom. :D

Thank you guys for this amazing experience and your openness.
Much Love and Peace.
See you soon.

First pattern.

This purple-pink-violet molecule-like rotating sphere made such an impression...

3rd Ayahuasca ceremony: Preparation.

1. Intention: Go deep!
2. Buy a small mirror.
3. Follow the diet.
4. Allow...

I'm finally seeing concrete health improvements...

...and I can't understand why I'm not eager to share this.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But, here it goes...

My health issue is a pain in my right hip-join-muscle which has the audacity to extend all the way down to my leg and even once all the way to my foot.
Obviously, this is not a good thing when you love social dancing.

What I know about this pain is:
- It appeared during my visit to Iceland to watch the solar eclipse.
- It felt like I was going to end up in a wheelchair.
- My acupuncturist convinced me it is not a physical problem. It was purely emotionally.
- Had a million massages. They all helped temporary, a bit.

During the first Ayahuasca ceremony I was forced to lay down and just...shake! Shake all the tension out of the psoas. This shaking altered from 'random' full body movements to a more specific 'brutal kick with the right leg' and took about all night(!).

During the second ceremony, this shaking had reduced to just a short moment.

During the month between the ceremonies the shaking would randomly appear. This felt so comforting.

I had witnessed others kicking their right leg and I was discussing this with Anna. She looked this up and the kicking would indicate a state of self-defense from whatever... Btw, I don't know her sources and frankly my dear, I don't care at this point. :)

Fast forward to the days after the second ceremony around Christmas...
We light up the nargile with cinnamon, vanilla, a strong load of Super Silver Haze and the after sizzle of The Mother.
As usual, I set my intend to visit Her and thank her for all the beauty I witnessed.
This time though, the Plants guide me to a painful feeling in my stomach...again.
So I follow...
And I focus...
And I let the pain increase...to the absolute maximum.
I'm weeping like a little kid at this point.
That's when this huge rainbow-like beam shoots out of my belly all the way to my head, spreading this pain over all my cells. I can feel how it disolves.

Then a deep fear overtook my emotions.
I am used to this so I know I have to comfort myself but for some reason I din't do it immediately. Probably because I was surprised by the heavy right leg kicking that was going on.
Intuitively I start scanning my inner child to find out how to comfort him.
I see the images of myself flashing by. I take a short stop at so many moments of my past, trying to see if that old version of myself could bring me comfort with this shaking fear that I was experiencing. None of them could help me. I ended up in the womb as a fetus. Even then, still shaking!
That's when all went dark.
I feel like I'm looking at the night sky and i see only one light dot.
I follow this dot...

[INSERT WHOLE NEW EPIC HERE]

I ended up with the frequency of my heart playing in my ears. 
I got up and went to bed.

Ever since, the pain has emerged for a moment....and faded more and more away.
At this moment, I can say that I feel no pain. At all.
I hope I didn't jinx it. :p

Westworld

I saw a "Happy New Year from Westworld" post on FB.
Eureka moment!

I remembered that damned labyrinth!

That's the 3rd Eye.
On a man's body.
Connected.

And then there is the Man in Black played by Ed Harris.
I can't help seeing the resemblance with my Dark Knight of the Soul.

AHO <3

Can't believe someone took the time to make this animation!

All Holy Books...

...have their Prophets or Gurus explain their Divine connection and experience.
We have been taught to look up to them.
Revere them.

At the same time, we have laws making the plants which open the door to true understanding of The Religions, and thus of yourself, illegal.
Treating this medicine like a poison.

The ones that claim to want to be as close to the Divine as possible will not allow themselves to experience it because of the social negative co-notation.

Life, it seems, comes not without a bit of irony.

Show me your Guru, I'll show you mine.

Meet, the late, Mr Terence McKenna.