The Old Lady

She lives in a dark place.
Deep inside my body, around the navel.
She sits there in bitterness.
Pure intolerence.
Denying, ignoring anf fighting the rithm of my heart.
Boiling her anger into a painful ball
Just so I have to spit it out.
Onto my ennvironment.
In traffic. My own actions. My loved-ones' actions...

This time, I caght her red-handed.
I promised her: "I'm taking you to drink. You know what's comming."

She looked frightend at me and the pain resided inside me.

She is smart, and cunning.
She just made me believe she went away.
So now I have this new question for Mother Aya: "Who Am I? What is my real name?"
I realise this is a trick!
The old lady doesn't want me to take her to The Mother.
She wants me to take the new question.

I know who I am.
I don't need a name.

Now this comes along

So I'm doing this moves for 3 days and the results are amazing!

I catch myself, scanning my body for pain and not finding the old back pain.

Inner talk with the Hunter and Pumba.

Woke up this morning way too early.
Around 3:30 am

I got aware of something going on in my mind.
A business.
So I apply what I heard two days earlier in some YouTube clip.
I ask the thing: "Who are you?"
I see an eye.
"Who are you? What do you want?" I continue.
The image completes and shows me a duck!
A duck!
The black kind with big round white eye and red beek.
It stares straight at me.
I ask it what do you want?
The duck floats away from me but doesn't disappear.
I get annoyed.
Then, out of the blue, a tall man appears, wearing camouflage, heavy boots, a kaki hat and holding a two-barrel shotgun. His dog follows him.
He grabs the duck by the neck and powerfully throw it in the air, loads the shotgun and shoots the duck mid-air!
The dog rushes to retrieve the game.
I. AM. BAFFLED!

"Who are you?" I ask.
He sits on my left side and stares at me in disbelief but with patience.
I'm the Hunter, he says.

"What hunter?" I reply.
"You know, the Hunter, Orion." He smiles.

The dog is back with the pray. His tail is wagging but it's not a dog. It's a pig!
Like Pumba!
WTF??
"You chew too much pork" the Hunter explains.

I'm thinking: "Get your ass back to the bloody stars and leave me alone" but he interferes and says:"I'm the hunter. You are the hunter. You stopped hunting. You forgot how to hunt. Affraid to kill because it is not allowed. You type all day at this 'computer'..."
He is mocking my lifestyle.
"If you don't hunt them, they will continue eating you."
"Who? What?? What's eating me?" I ask.
"Can't you feel it?" He smiles.
Suddenly I become very aware of my entire body. My toes, my legs, my back! It's killing me.
The duck was removed and killed from my brain. That's how I finally reached the Hunter.
"What's the back pain? What animal is it?"
"An aligator" he says. Emotionless.
"Kill it" I tell him.
"I can't. He is too deep integrated to you body."
"So what should I do???" I almost panic.
"I don't know." He smugs. "It seems not to like oxygen".
I start bearthing beeply. Into my belly.
The pain reduces as if the teeth of the gator are releasing.
"This is exhausting." I tell him. "I can't do this all my life long!!"
"Not my problem!" He laughs laudly.
"What's the weight on my shoulders?" I ask.
"An hyppopotamus" He replies, lifting his eyebrows, mockingly.

Guess what I did last weekend?
Visited the zoo.
Saw a cute baby hyppo

 and did this...

Testimonial 20/5

This would be my 4th journey guided by Mo and Bas and this time I decided to introduce my children of 15 and 17 to the sacret inner journey.

Need I say more about my trust in Bas and Mo?

The setting was clean, comfortable and warm.

The music inspirational.

The taste was foul.

The doses were absolutely perfect.

The journeys and sorrow were deep

And the insights and joy are still growing...

My children entered as kids and returned as true Warriors.

Thank you guys! <3

The Parade

I see myself standing in a desert-like environment.
As I turn around, I see palm trees apear.
Vast rows of lucious green trees.
In the background a golden pyramid cuts the sky.
A wide sand road passes in front of it.
I see two huge purple-grey elephants, with three trunks, walking towards me.
Leading a huge caravan of animals behind them.
Rhinos.
Girafs.
Camels!
They have a cube on their back.
And these cubes have faces!

Like these! :) :) :)

Lower back pain.

What lower back pain??
😀😀😀

During the last 2-3 days, I've caught myself moving freely, sitting for a reasonable time on a chair and the getting up...effortlessly, painlessly...

Before you drink Ayahuasca, consider this.

About the pain in my belly...

...that only seems to recede when I lay on my chest, stretched on the floor.

This experience is induced by this song: Spirit Bird.

 As soon as the song goes "We've seen it all before..."
I stop resisting, wrestling and I give in...

I see my younger self.
I'm in my twenties, but centuries ago.
Dying.
In the bow of a ship.
One hand is holding my stomach.
The other is reaching for help.

Who can help me?
Only I can help myself.

That's when I see my current 42 year-old self emerging from the light shining inside through the deck opening.
I'm wearing brown leather boots, my favorite brown leather jacket, a black wool hat, sunglasses, unshaven...
I'm holding a little boy by the hand. That is also my 6 year-old self.
Innocent. Trusting.
Looking up to this bad ass man in leather.
Looking at the dying man with curiosity.
The 43yo man reaches out to me. I grab his string hand and he pulls me up into the light and on the deck.
He guides me to the steerman's position and as he puts my hand on the steering wheel I transform into a healthy, clean and well dressed captain.
The little boy looks at me like he was expecting this to happen.

The 42yo takes the boy and walks to the front of the ship.
The boy asks him: "Where are we sailing to?"
He looks down into the boys eyes with the most compassionate look and in a warm voice he replies:
"I don't know and don't you worry. He, pointing at me, knows the way."

I set the ship's course straight into a warm golden light...

Our lucky day.

My Anna's unresolved issues from the last session pushed us to book a last minute ceremony at Bas and Mo's place.
I decide to dive into my connection to my mom, lower back pain and allowing to receive money since these three topics are strongly related.
We were joined by 3 new travelers.
S from India, wishing to deal with her mother's death.
J from Amsterdam, wishing to deal with the misunderstanding of his girlfriend's anorexia.
And P from Slovenia, the Reptilian Prince, had no clear wish. He came to state that the world needs a big shift and change is upon us.

Needles to say P kind of had us like "WTF!??" even before we had our first sip.
Hold on to your pants cause this is going to blow them away.

J couldn't cope with the pain of facing the issues. As soon as he saw Anna struggle with drinking and puking, he left the room and sat alone to cry though his deep sorrow. What he saw must have connected him to his anorexic girlfriend. Very powerful.

S took quite some time to allow herself to resolve her issue and as soon as she did, we all felt a deep relief and a warm shift of the energy in the room. Bless her and her strong warm work.

P, omg P...
After my second drink, which by the way was a manifestation of pure heroism (but I could be bloating :p ) I saw...
I saw The Reptilian Prince.

Appearing from a huge quite mass of water.
The surface rippled gently.
His green-grey face was emerging in a royal fashion.
Wearing a red and blue crown, he looked me deep in the eyes. His eyes were big, completely black and his mouth was nothing but a black line connecting his broad snaky jaws.
I looked at him.
I can't recall a feeling.
There was no fear or surprise. Nor love or even a wish to understand...
I just knew.
I knew I was observing from a distance because he represents disconnection, loneliness and the feeling not to be understood.

I got my confirmation when he suddenly shape shifted into a big Lion with majestic manes and kind eyes. Notice how the lion is also considered 'royal'.

Also I got this pattern:

While everybody has done 'his work', P remains stubborn and stuck in his struggle, claiming he wants to be helped to release this reptilian prince but on the other hand feeling proud not to surrender.
This leads him to a third shot.
A shot of desperation.
We all pitch in, in the energy and the love to stay with him and to guide him.
He feels attacked, misunderstood and in the end even lonely.
He won't budge and in the end we cave and give up. Tired, somewhat sad and even frustrated.

That's when it hit me!
What we were feeling, is exactly what P was feeling during his whole life!
That energy created the space for this Reptilian Prince just like our feeling of connection and love creates the space for Mother Ayahuasca.
Same coin, different sides.
Our attitude was immature and infantile, believing there was something wrong with P, willing to 'change him for the better'.
All EGO based bullshit.
P is just perfect the way he is.
All we need to do is ACCEPT him.
Period.

This is a Warrior family!

So much fear.

So much grief.

So much pain yet so much compassion.

It rips you apart, it kills you, it resurrects you.

So much peace.

So much Love.